The plot thickens...

So it turns out that blogs are easily found. I have NO idea how, but someone found this stupid little blog and went off tattling to Amy, Julie's sister. She has a post in which she says I bitch and moan about her and her family, which is not the point of this at all. My whole reason for starting this stupid thing is to dump out some of the emotions and thoughts that I have had over the last week and am sure to have over the next months. Some of the ways I feel are irrational and some are not. I'm truly sorry if anyone's feelings are hurt by this blog or posting or whatever.

I have to admit, I feel horrible. I really like Amy, and I really like her husband, I think they are truly good people. I'm sure that this incident is going to cause all sorts of issues and hurt feelings, and that was never the point. I just hope that they realize that MY ranting isn't because I'm not sympathetic to the troubles that they're having, it's just that MY feelings are hurt by some of the actions and behaviors of some. I doubt it, though

Now, of course, I feel all god damned guilty for hurting Amy's feelings. I'm such a chick, I swear. You know those snickers commercials? "wanna get away?" That's how I feel. I'm sure this thing is gonna blow up, and that is the farthest thing from what I want, that's TOOOOO much drama! Like I've already said, this thing was supposed to be a place for me to dump out my emotions without reproach. How was I supposed to know they're so easily found? Why would anyone want to read about my sordid little life anyway? I guess railing against the blog phenomenon does me no good, but dammit. Now comes the question: should I call her? I think that would be a bad idea at the moment, but how about in the future? Give her a couple days to calm down, try to explain things to her. Wait for her to call me? Unlikely. She's probably not gonna ask for my autograph anytime soon. Perhaps I should put something here and hope that she or one of her followers reads it. That, I think would be dishonest, and that makes me feel worse. Julie's not exactly pleased at the moment, either. It's times like these when I realize that I might actually have a decent shot at a reality TV show! I'm such a mess.

So I thought about taking this down. I even changed the name and then changed it back. Like I said, this thing is about me! I think it's been a good way for me to dump some stuff out and see how they look. Going back and reading some of the things has shown me some things about myself, and I think that's a good thing, so I won't take it down. I wonder, however, if there is a way to make it where no one can read it. I doubt it, but we'll see. I could always do this in a notebook, but I'd just lose the notebook, I have a horrible short term memory. The only answer I can come up with is to cut and paste all my entries into a word document until I can find a (free) blog or online journal of some sort to put this back online for safekeeping. Safe. haha...

What a week.