Holiday Tidings
It's funny, I've never had two better things happen to me - much less in such a short time frame - as I have in the last 3 days. Why, then, do I feel so weird? Not bad, really, just weird. Julie says it's like living in the future, and she's exactly right. Today really means nothing to me, everything is in a haze. I haven't really spoken to any of my friends, I haven't really done any of the things that I normally do, I skipped a Nine Inch Nails concert (opened by Queens of the Stone Age), I can't think of anything except my baby and my potential company. Even writing that sentence feels like the punchline to a sarcastic comment. It has a website, by the way, my company. haha, see? It just sounds funny - my company! Absurd. I wonder how much one is supposed to indulge their inner Hemingway with posts on their blog? Is it supposed to just be once a day? Who cares, bloggers are narcissistic louts anyway.
We have to go down to Amy's house tonight for Thanksgiving and, frankly, I don't want to go. I've read her blog, and I know how she feels about me, my girlfriend and my baby, and I don't want to deal with the ersatz congratulations and hugs and bullshit that is going to come my way. I know I should give her some credit for trying, but fuck that. Listen, if you're gonna wallow in your own self pity, then don't pretend like you're happy for me, because you're not! More than anything I hate hypocrisy, and the next two days are going to be an exercise in just how far one can allow hypocrisy to corrode one's personal values. If I indulge her hypocrisy, doesn't that make me a hypocrite? And since I know this going in, it would most definitely be a self-loathing hypocrite. On the flip side, isn't a little value corroding and self-loathing worth it to keep your sometimes-hyper-a-bit-high-strung-slightly-pregnant-girlfriend calm and happy? I submit that it is, but that doesn't make it any more acceptable, or me any less self-loathing. Fuck me I hate lying. Maybe I'll just go the silent route. I'll still have to hug and pretend and make nice, though. Bah.
By the way, I went back to Amy's blog, and some fucking enabling sycophant wrote, "I'm thinking about you and A and your sister with the not-so-hot boyfriend." Not so hot? What the hell did I do? And the "A" referenced above is Julie's best friend who found out Julie was pregnant through Amy's rant. Some other bullshit fan of Amy's posted that it was wrong of Julie to not tell "A" and that it sucked she had to find out that way. First off, at that point, only family knew. It's not our goddamn duty to inform anyone just because they have had problems conceiving! These people are such selfish assholes, everything is about them. They have their own little blog community where they all circle the wagons and have an unbelievable "us against the world" mentality. They cry about how unfair it is that other people are procreating; they even suggest that it others shouldn't be happy around them if they are expecting! Amy even posted a list of "How To Break The News To Me If You're Pregnant!" can you believe it? She has god damn rules about how to tell her! Unbelievable. Here is the bottom line: I'm truly sympathetic about her fertility issues, but that shit has NOTHING to do with me, Julie, or our baby. Can I ever believe that she's truly happy for us? Uhhh, no...
Whatever, I'm getting annoyed and bored.
posted by Jaileer @ 2:51 PM
4 Comments:
Hey
I enjoy your post.
I was wondering what your stance on marriage (or not marrying) is. I don't believe in marriage either and a lot of people have a hard time understanding that. I know that once you have a kid, it's easier to have your kid taken away from you if you never married, what with certain legalities, paperwork and such. I feel that my girlfriend will never truly feel confident in our relationship because I've not made that commitment. It scares me.
How were you able to get the point across to your girlfriend, or does she want to marry? I am thinking of starting my own blog and found you on blogroller.com. If I do, I'll let you know the post.
Thanks,
Chris Mitchell
I just really don't see the point in it, you know? I'm not religious so I don't see the point there. I love my girlfriend very much and I fail to see what could improve our relationship by institutionalizing it. I always say that I don't have any issues with OTHER people getting married, I just don't think it makes sense for ME.
Sorry, I didn't address your other question - about my girl. I don't really know, to tell you the truth. Our relationship was very organic, and it surprises both of us we've made it this far, much less are procreating! I come from a divorced household, all my friends that have been married (with the exception of two; and they're married to each other!) are now divorced, I know people who get divorced after 15, 20, even 40 years! It's a stone cold fact that the divorce rate hovers near 60%, what the hell is the point? I love her, and she loves me and why would a ceremony make our love more valid?
I know she wanted to get married when she met me. When it came down to it, she says she would rather be with me than not. It's not traditional, It's not what her family wants, but she loves me enough to be with me, regardless. That, my friend, makes me love her even more.
I don't think you are sympathetic at all to her fertility issues, you don't have them, so you can not possible know what it is like. You are a complete ass and need to move to Indiana and stop writing about things you don't have any knowledge about.
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