The Neurological Divide

I have Tourette's Syndrome. This hasn't really been a source of concern for me since I've had it my whole life. The issue is that while researchers don't know much about the disorder, they do know it is hereditary. This worries me quite a bit. The chances of me passing a neurological disorder to my child is greater than 50% in a little girl, and even higher if it's a boy. Along with Tourette's, I also have ADD and OCD. It's an alphabet soup of fucked-up brain chemistry! All neurological disorders are closely linked, so my child might have a disorder, but possibly not one of my disorders. It scares me, and worries me quite a bit. Is it selfish to have a child when you know you may pass along this type of trait? The question is obviously a reflective one; what's done is done. Was it my responsibility, however, to perhaps never have a child? Maybe just adopt, to avoid passing along my damaged DNA?

I think I'm a pretty decent cat and I don't think that my disorders define me as a person, but I do understand the difficulties that such disorders present. I'm fascinated with the science behind TS, especially since so little is known. I've been on several websites and message boards and email lists for TS, and some people can not deal with TS; some are even ashamed. It breaks my heart, you know? It's so sad that there are people that cannot accept themselves because of societal pressures, but I understand. I'm pretty well adjusted but I know how hard it is for me in a lot of situations; it's uncomfortable! Some people do not have the personality or desire to force themselves to be treated normally, and that makes me really sad. Not in a pitying way, but in a solidarity, I-wish-I-could-do-something-to-help sort ofway. I'm afraid my child, even with me trying to pass along my philosophies, may not be able to accept himself, and it would be my fault. I'm sorry, kid. I hope that someday if you see this, you love yourself as much as I do.